When I think about who I was when I entered my 20's, I'm proud of the growth. I'm proud of the steps that I've taken and I'm proud of the accomplishments I've made. At the same time, there are moments where I need to take a step back and ask myself: "What do I really want?" When I entered my 20's, I was a shell of the person I am now. I knew some things that I really desired, but I was timid. The things I wanted never really went past the thoughts phase. Some days, I wish I could go back through college in the mental state I am now. The truth is nothing changes if nothing changes. Big changes happen when you are willing to jump into the unknown and be willing to TRY. Try and possibly fail. It's scary. Not to mention after you make that leap of faith, how do you transform that action into a developed confidence in you? That is where the real work happens.
Taking the thoughts to actions
It is one thing to know what you want. But what good is that if you never do anything about it? Think about it, speak it into existence, manifest it. Absolutely. But also, dive in, make a change. If it's something that you have spent a significant time thinking about, you have nothing to lose. Maybe you try and it doesn't work out in your favor. At the end of the day, at least you get the satisfaction that you went after something you truly cared about. That's a win. Every time.
"I'm scared about what other people will think."
Okay valid. At one point or another, we have all suffered from this voice in our head. What if I look stupid? What if it's not what I thought it would be? The rabbit hole of the what ifs is unreal. There may be people who don't support you. There will be people who question your every move. This is the uncomfortable piece of choosing you and the things that excite you that you have to sit with. Is it easy? Never. Does it become easier with time? Just like everything else, of course. So let me ask you something: Who can you control? I hope you can answer that question on your own. Invest in yourself. Invest in the things that set your soul on fire. Whether that be starting a new job, being vulnerable about your feelings with someone, picking up a new hobby that makes you a little nervous..I could go on and on.
What sets my soul on fire?
I've been thinking a lot about my future lately and what I want out of my life. I try so hard not to put so much pressure on the future and to live in the moment. But when I think about the things that I want, in order to have the future I want, I need to take a leap of faith in the present. In my early 20's I put off a lot of things that I really wanted to try. Why? Go back and read that big bold quote in the paragraph before this one. Thinking about it now, here's what I really want moving forward:
I want to spend my free time with people who lead with love
I want to live in a big city
I want to book the flights- travel to new cities and countries I've never been to
I want to continue teaching cycle classes (my fitness journey has been one of my greatest thoughts to action)
I want to find a job that lets me tap into my creativity, but doesn't put me through a continuous anxious cycle
I want to join a book club
Establishing the confidence in your actions
You did the hardest part. You took the leap and you did what you told yourself you were going to do. In some ways, you have a great weight lifted off your shoulders. In other ways, you may even think, "What the hell did I get myself into?" Anything new and uncertain has a period of time where you feel completely lost. That doesn't mean you made a mistake. Own that feeling of being so unsure. I know it sounds crazy, but this period of time can feel freeing if you just let it do its thing. Because before you know it, that fresh new feeling will fade and you will think to yourself, "Why was I so worried in the first place?" Be proud of jumping into the deep end head first. Do not forget how hard you worked to get to where you are. And just. keep. going.
The reality is, anything that makes you feel a little bit nervous is worth it. Growth does not happen by staying comfortable. In the last year, I have done quite a few things that scared the sh*t out of me. At the same time, I'm not done. There are so many things that I still want and so many things that I think about every single day. Tomorrow is waiting for you to take that step, to make that change. I have a feeling the next year will have a lot of weird, uncomfortable, heartbreakingly beautiful moments for me. I just have to be willing to feel all of those emotions to get there. I think I'm ready for it. Are you?
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