MISS TAYLOR.
I think she quite literally stole my diary to write some of the songs on this album. I listened to all 31 tracks before having to teach students on Friday morning. Needless to say, I was so unwell, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Her lyrics are magic. They make me, along with millions of people feel seen. The vulnerability in this album alone makes me feel SEEN. Before I start pouring all of my thoughts and love into this blog post, I am linking a TikTok that I posted on @lifeinmy20sss to show you what I have looked like for the majority of this weekend. If you relate, you're a real one. If you don't, I feel kind of bad for you. I also think this post will change your mind so you'll have to cancel your plans for the next 3-5 business days. Lastly, you're welcome.
The "Men" of the Album
We all thought this album was going to be so hyper focused on her relationship with Joe Alwyn. Mr. British Actor. They supposedly met at a Met Gala in 2016 (now go listen to "Dress" on the reputation album). I mean they were together for six years. Because their relationship was so private, I assumed this was her GUY. It would not have surprised me if there was an engagement coming out of that one. Like they say though, you never know what is happening behind closed doors. They quietly broke up last spring. Let's just say "So Long, London" EARNED the track 5 spot. Ouch. I didn't even think the songs would be about anyone else. It just never occurred to me. After her and Joe broke up, she had a fling with Matt Healy last May. Yes, this was actually absurd after the horrible things that he has said about her. To the note that he publicly said prior to this, "I am not being Taylor Swift's boyfriend. You know, F*** that." But also, we've all been there.. going back to toxic situationships that we know are not healthy for us. I honestly think she was holding onto the hope of what they could've been because she did really love him at one point. FELT. Raise your hand if you know your worth and yet have given chance after chance to people who don't deserve you 🤚🏼 It's not so uncommon. They didn't last very long. The songs that seem to be about Matt Healy are agonizing. Like, I was genuinely ill listening to some of them. The way she poured all of her brokenness into this, when I'm sure all she wanted to do was crawl in bed and hide from the world...all while putting on 3 hour shows acting like she was the happiest girl in the world...speechless.
And let's hear it for our guy, Travis! This line is separate from that ^ paragraph because he doesn't need to be included with the boys. This is a real MAN. I love that he was included (even if just for a small portion) in this album. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I love their love. "Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me" Immediately mended my heart back together in case you were wondering.
Top 5 (as of right now):
I've heard a few people say that they don't like Taylor's new album. To anyone who feels that way, I need you to grow up. LOL. This album is lyrical genius that has had my jaw hit the floor countless times. The Tortured Poets Department is beautifully heartbreaking. It's filled with nostalgia, love, loss, loneliness, dark humor, etc. A lot of what I feel like Life in My 20's has been about since I started writing. It's foundation is the beautiful struggle that is putting yourself out there time and time again. Here are my favorite lines on my current top 5 tracks of this album. The top 5 could change tomorrow. I have a new favorite song every time I listen. "I'm not trying to exaggerate, but I think I might die."
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived:
"Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?"
"But you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive"
"I would've died for your sins instead I just died inside"
Disclaimer; This is the MOST gut wrenching song on the album that I've screamed in my car and shower several times since Friday. No wonder it's my favorite.
Black Dog:
"OLD HABITS DIE SCREAMING" (when I tell you I passed away for 30 seconds after hearing this lyric for the first time)
"Six weeks of breathing clean air I still miss the smoke"
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?
The "you should be" (you know what I'm talking about)
"So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is"
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
"I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day"
"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"
Down Bad:
"They say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you"
"I'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it"
Honorable Mentions:
But Daddy I Love Him:
"I know it's crazy but he's the one I want. I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'"
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can):
"Lift a finger, I can fix him. No, really, I can. WOAH- maybe I can't"
loml:
"I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all"
"And I'll still see it until I die. You're the loss of my life"
thank you alMee (adding this one because she's hilarious and I love a Kim roast):
"Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman. But she used to say she wished that you were dead"
"One day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two is gonna know is about you"
Final Thoughts
All I can think about since I started listening to this album is how I need to be back in a stadium listening to these songs LIVE. Taylor Swift is THE most famous female artist in the world right now. She's using her platform to be raw. She puts on a brave face and shows her REAL emotions. She's using her music to show people that being in love, making mistakes, falling in and out of toxic relationships, experiencing hate and heartbreak, it's all part of the growth. You can't avoid your feelings. You can't put them away in a box and hope that one day they just go away. You have to feel them for everything that they are and all the reactions they bring (the good, the bad, the soul crushing). That's how we come out Clean (sorry I had to).
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