Here we are—
The week in between Christmas and New Year's. No one knows what day it is, stretchy pants are highly encouraged, and I'm starting to think about the new year coming. What a year. I think I say that every year, but wow. There was a brief moment a few weeks ago coming off of Thanksgiving where I found myself stumbling into a funk. I sat in it for a few days and then pulled myself out by reminding myself how much I have to be thankful for and how many times I've chosen to come out of those dark head spaces this year alone. This time of year can make us feel "off" and lonely. And that's okay. But today, I'm choosing to take a deep breath. I'm choosing to take some time to be proud of what I've accomplished this year. And I'm taking some time to be alone. Sometimes we move at a hundred miles an hour with a never-ending to-do list and struggle to think of a single thing that has "gone right". I dare you to take some time today to answer the question, What went right this year?
I'm here. I'm breathing. I'm proud. I'm extremely loved. I'm the funniest girl that ever lived (you know I had to throw that in there). This year did not suck. No matter how many bumps or bruises that tried to come my way. I learned a lot about myself this year. I know I'll catch myself in a funk again. Surprise I'm human. But, there is always light. I've found that light in a lot of new this year. This post may get a little emo. I know y'all love a vulnerable me.
So..what went right this year?
This year, I dove into several situations that made me nervous.
I could stop there and by saying that alone, there is so much pride that bubbles to the surface. Being nervous and uncomfortable is not for the weak.
Here are some things that made me nervous this year:
Leaving a toxic work environment.
Living with new people that I've never met before.
Letting go of places that felt like home.
Saying "see you later" to people who feel like home.
Moving to a new city.
Starting a new job.
Approaching guys first. (A power move)
Starting therapy.
Finding content in doing it alone.
Not being afraid to show emotion.
A tear comes to my eye when I read this list. It doesn't look like a lot on a screen typed out, but the emotion I felt in each of these situations was big. I never thought I was an emotional person until this year honestly. Now I literally can not stop. On Christmas, I opened up a custom-made water bottle that my mom ordered with my dog's face on it. Immediate tears LOL. To preface, I've only seen her twice since my parents moved earlier this year. I also now cry at any song that makes me feel a certain way. Anyways, if you read this list of things that made me nervous this year, they all are huge life events. They are events that happened to and for me this year that made me feel uncomfortable and bittersweet. If I'm being honest, the one that I'm most proud of is number 9. I used to be a feelings bottler through and through. And while that still may be the case from time to time, I am no longer afraid to show emotion. I'm not afraid to call people out for hurting my feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve ruthlessly. There have been a few situations this year that did not make me feel good because I stood up for myself and that sense of feeling "crazy" came full swing in my head. I think that's something that a lot of people can relate to. We don't want to feel crazy and we don't want other people to think we are either. But this year, I'm at peace with whatever it is that other people think of me, as long as I say my piece and it is authentic. I know myself so well now. If they don't like me, I'm at peace with it. I like me. All this to say, get to know yourself in the new year if you haven't already. Be afraid and continue on. You'll be okay.
And now for the fun part of my blog post. My favorite moments of 2024. These are just the first 10 that came to my mind. Moments that make my eyes water just thinking about them. Moments that are pure bliss. You're welcome.
Starting this blog in January. An outlet that I've always been passionate about.
Spending my 25th birthday in Nashville with my favorite people in the world.
Joining the CycleBar family, but still connecting with my LifeCYCLE family. Pouring love into people, while simultaneously pouring love into me.
Choosing to apply and interview at my current teaching job. A gut feeling that I gave in to gave me a little spark back.
Meeting my roommates that I live with now. I've known them for three months and they are already my soulmates that the universe knew I needed. Whoever is listening, thank you.
Being genuinely happy where I live and having fun on weekdays (fun on weekdays is a movement, please join).
I lived my concert-best life this year (my favorite pastime). Going to the eras tour with a best friend of mine is something that I will talk about forever.
Visiting my parents in Atlanta twice. It's been a weird year being so far away. I don't love it and I miss them all the time. But I'm grateful to be able to travel.
Going on dates and meeting new potential future husbands (even if it has not stuck yet lol). We'll be back on our dating grind in January, don't worry. Having a giddy feeling about someone is so iconic.
Belly laughs with all of my best friends. There are so many people that I don't get to see very often that I have so much love for. I got to spend some silly moments with everyone I love this year. If you made me laugh this year, I simply adore you. Thank you for showing up for me and being someone who just gets me.
Here's the biggest piece of advice that I sat on this year and I'll leave you with:
It's okay to do it alone.
It's also okay to be disappointed that you have to do it alone.
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