Valentine's Day is in a few days and I want to talk about why I both love and dread this holiday. This one is for the hopeless romantics, like me. This holiday was quite literally made for our kind. That is if you're in a relationship of course. Now it's time for me to ramble about the things I adore about this holiday and things that I just can't stand at the moment. I'll even add in some ideas to celebrate self love if you are feeling a little melancholy.
Note before you keep reading: Lead with love always. If it's not your time for love with a partner, choose you instead.
Read that again. Okay, carry on.
Hate: No thank you.
Hate is kind of a strong word because I really don't hate Valentine's Day at all. I think the way I feel about it sometimes could be considered lonely, envious, and lost. When I was a kid, this was my favorite holiday. I think because I show my love by giving gifts and putting it into words for the people who I really care about. I loved the parties at school and the kindness that exploded during this day. When I got a little older, that spark began to fade. I can remember in the 7th grade, my boyfriend at the time (can I even call him that LOL), didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. Baby me was heartbroken. I came home from school that day to a giant pink teddy bear from my dad. I still have that bear. By high school, I was still making cupcakes for my friends and finding ways to show a bit more love than I normally do. One year I spent the day with my boyfriend of 4 months (super romantic I know), but other than that it was still just me. Fast forward to now. In my adult life, I have never spent a real romantic Valentine's Day with anyone. I should hate it honestly. Why don't I hate it? Again, I think the real word I'm looking for is lonely. A little bit lost. I think that's really what people feel when they say they hate Valentine's Day. Because the truth is every human out there just wants to love and to be loved. I look at other couples out around this time and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a little envious. I love love. I wish I could just throw out the fact that I hated this day and move on, but I can't. We hate it because we hate the way it makes us feel. I hate it because I hate the way it makes ME feel. It's a day that highlights the fact that maybe everyone has someone, but me.
Love: 100% certified lover girl.
I'm in my mid 20's. I'm single. The majority of my friends are in incredible relationships. How the hell do I love this holiday? Because it is a day of vulnerability. For most of us, being vulnerable is so far out of our comfort zone. It's something that most people want nothing to do with. With Valentine's Day, there is almost this unspoken rule that you can be the cheesiest you've ever been and it literally doesn't matter. I love that. Another reason I love this holiday is you really don't need to be in a romantic relationship to celebrate love. Make plans with the girls. Take a moment to appreciate all of the beautiful people who show up for you day in and day out. I work at a cycling studio as an instructor and in February we write heart shaped notes to anyone and everyone. They cover every inch of the wall. That's love. Going out of your way to make someone else feel good. That's love. Showing up for yourself when you don't want to, whether that be a workout, a therapy session, a skin care routine, or just getting up and tackling the day with a positive attitude. That's love. Love doesn't have to be extravagant. Love does not have to be romantic. Love is compassion. Love is kindness. Love is commitment. The commitment can be to anyone or anything. Where I am in my life right now, that is how I see this holiday. How could I hate that?
How can I celebrate my Valentine's Day?
Self Love Edition
There is not a whole lot to this. What makes you feel good? What makes you forget about the rest of the world for a little while and just lock in with YOU? Whatever that is, do that. Keep it simple.
Some ideas that speak to me:
An episode of the Bachelor and a glass of wine.
Go to the gym and make yourself a bomb ass dinner.
Cuddle up with a good book.
If this day is hitting you in the feels extra hard this year, remind yourself that it's just another Wednesday. Stick to your usual Wednesday routine and don't think twice about it.
Long story short, do not spend this day being a grump or a hater. Use it as an opportunity to let people love and learn to love on you. You're going to be just fine, but you write your story. You choose your next move. Whatever you do, make your future self proud.
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