This week, I turned 25. Here I am, approaching the second half of my twenties. How did that happen? I feel like I was literally just celebrating the start of my 20's in my favorite, very crusty (zero shame) college bar. I could write pages and pages just reflecting on the last five years and the five before that. It's hard to believe that there are people who know a version of me from my past that partially exists and yet, they still think they know me. I'm not who I was 10 years ago. I'm not who I was 5 years ago. And what a beautiful thought to have- I'm enhanced. I'm the most myself I've ever been. 25 trips around the sun. I love the person I see in the mirror right now, but I haven't always felt this way. So what have I learned? What's next? Let's get into it.
25 Things I've Learned:
It is okay to be the weirdest in the room. Be loud, be goofy, be present.
If it makes you nervous, it's 100% worth it.
Start your skin care A$AP Rocky.
People treat you exactly how they feel about you. Don't make excuses for stupid and choose people who choose you.
Those people who make you belly laugh, keep them.
There will be people who do not make you a priority. It hurts, but it won't hurt forever. Keep going.
There is comfort in being alone. Read this one again.
You'll get your heart broken by lovers, situationships (sometimes these hurt the worst), family members, friends, etc. If someone/something hurts your feelings, let it hurt. Then, get up.
Don't mistake kindness for weakness. The minute you let someone's actions turn you cold, they win. Stay kind.
It is a privilege to experience my energy. I will never be too much for the right people.
You can feel a spark while the other person will feel nothing at all. It's not a reflection of you. Embrace rejection and turn it into empowerment.
Writing things down is a great outlet.
I love having plans set up. It gives me things to look forward to. But if I don't have plans, I don't let it get me down. I make a plan with myself :)
Follow up: There is nothing wrong with a lazy day. Weekends do not have to be extravagant.
Being straightforward has made me feel happier and lighter.
Not everyone will understand your situation or support your situation (sometimes even your loved ones), but go with your gut. You know what's best for you.
Eat clean, but if you want the sweet treat (for me it's usually a salty snack), go off.
Movement is medicine, but if you need to be horizontal on the couch, there is literally no reason to feel bad about it.
How long you have known someone isn't what is important. What's important is who shows up without hesitation and how you feel when they are around.
A mistake doesn't define you. A mistake helps you grow. Make the mistakes.
Let people help you when you're down.
Your feelings are not dramatic. You are entitled to feel whatever it is you need to feel. Never let someone invalidate how you feel.
Find a hobby or two. Something that has nothing to do with work or school. What makes you feel alive?
My favorite quote: I believe in love because I exist and I am full of it. The mindset I've adopted: I will always have a hope for love, but if it's not my time, it's not my time.
Your light will probably irritate a lot of people. Shine and shine big.
Celebrate your birthday! Another year of ME and I love ME. I've come a long way and I'm damn proud.
I know what you're thinking. A lot of these are a lot easier said than done. These mindsets, these ideas, they didn't just develop overnight or over a year or a few years. These are ongoing battles I've been fighting with myself for the first 25 years of me. It's taken a lot of trial and error and heartbreak and disappointment to be in the headspace I am now. And absolutely, there are days where I fall short. In the first couple years of my 20's, I never wanted to be alone. I couldn't even go to the gym by myself. Now I cherish my alone time because I've created an independence in myself that I am really proud of. I've been in several situations where I was so into someone and they didn't like me back or simply didn't want anything to do with me. For all of the times I have experienced someone not being able to love me back, I've learned how to love myself a little more. In my college years, I struggled to move my body and find exercise as self care. The routine I have created required a lot of hard work and discipline. The hardest of all: being straightforward. My toughest battle in my first 25 years has been my people pleasing. It has been extremely difficult for me to be straightforward because the honest truth is sometimes it can hurt other people's feelings. Enough is enough and I'm tired of hurting me (cue Megan Moroney). All jokes aside, this sh*t is hard. The things that I have learned are not a one size fits all, but I can promise you, they've allowed me to become someone who makes me feel confident.
So what's next?
I continue to live my life the only way I know how. I'll continue to put my best foot forward every day and make more mistakes than I can count. I'll continue to love and get my heart broken and learn to love myself a little more. I'll think I found the one only to be met with "I'm not ready" or "I can't be that person for you" and I'll find a way to make it through. I'll continue to be straightforward and feel my feelings. I'll continue to find things that bring me joy and put my foot down when someone takes advantage of my kindness. I'll continue to move my body and love what I see in the mirror even on the days where it feels impossible. I'll continue to choose ME.
I don't know what comes next. When I think about who I was at the beginning of my 20's, it's mind boggling. I was a literal shell of the woman I am now. Today, I'm the most me I've ever felt. Five years from now.. unmatched. I'm just getting started!
And isn't that a beautiful thing?
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