This one is so important to me, but also can be a sore subject. The friendships that do not drain your social battery. ICONIC. Have you ever experienced a friendship where you think "I would rather not"? If you're anything like me, you want people in your life who want a place there too. If you're confused what I am talking about or don't believe there are friendships that do drain you, you either are slaying the friend game, you are too nice (this is still me sometimes) OR you may even be the friend who drains social batteries. Was that harsh? Hate to be the bearer of bad news, babe. Before I start with the advice to build these friendships, I have some tough love to share. In order to attract these friends, you have to be this friend. It is 2024, it's okay to admit that you've made mistakes in the past when it comes to friends. Own it. Use it to grow. Remember: being reflective is IN.
1. Say yes to doing nothing.
This reminds me of my best friend growing up, who is still my favorite person to ever walk this planet. She would call me on the way to my house already, walk in, and sometimes we would just sit and do nothing together. It created a sense of peace. You don't always have to be your best self. You can literally just rot together and you're both totally fine with it.
2. Share. Hell. Overshare.
The best part is if they don't get scared or intimidated, they'll fit right in. You'll know right away if they are a person who can rock with you or not. If you're wondering how to find the people who create your judge free environment, this is the one.
3. Spend time with people who have the same passions as you.
Obviously it's important to put yourself out there, learn new things from people who are completely different from you. That being said, for the purposes of this post and your social battery, I stand by this.
4. Make sure they are funny and don't take everything too seriously.
This one may be more of an opinion, but being able to laugh at yourself is healing. It is easy to be so critical of ourselves in this stage of life. We are continuously comparing ourselves to others and being hyper focused on what we don't have YET. When you meet someone who is able to pull you out of that and pull out the weirdest, silliest version of yourself, hold onto it.
5. Do not stress yourself out to fill your calendar.
This one is tough. I know..you want plans! You want to fill your free time with the best, most extravagant plans. Take a deep breath. Go with the flow. Do not lose sleep over not having those extravagant plans all the time. If you are stressing about filling your calendar, this is already damaging your social battery. The friends who enhance your life are not going to stress you out with plans anyway.
6. Go for a walk and get some fresh air together. Hot girl walks are key to long lasting friendships.
If you're wondering if you are in a strong friendship, free of draining your social battery, go on a walk or a hike. No outside pressures or voices. One of my best friends and I wanted to go hiking a few months ago, so we drove to a nearby trail. When we got there, the trail was closed. Instead of leaving, we literally just went on a long walk on the roads surrounding the trail. We didn't care. We just were content being in each other's presence. There becomes a comfort in walking to no where.
7. If they pressure you to do quite literally anything, take a break or shut that shit down.
Read that again. Do I need to explain? Say no.
8. If they don't text you back right away, don't suffocate.
Send them a silly voice memo and chill tf out. Remember, we are in our 20's. Most of us are working that 9-5, trying to fit a workout in somewhere, and get to bed before 10 (yes, I said 10). If we don't give each other grace, who will?
9. Remind yourself that you never know what someone else is going through.
I know it sucks sometimes, but if plans need to be rescheduled, it's okay. If this happens several times, that's clearly different. Instead of the outing you planned, you can also always offer to just sit and rot together too. Highly recommend.
10. Check in.
I know a lot of these are focused on going with the flow and being a bit more relaxed when it comes to friendships. That doesn't mean you don't care and you don't check in. It honestly means that you care more about your friendship and you can trust the bond that you have. Be there. If it's not in person, so what. Send them a text or give them a call. If it's an instagram reel that reminded you of them, absolutely yes.
If I have learned anything in my adult life so far, it would be that if someone is not serving you or making you feel loved, that's okay. At the same time, recognize it and remove yourself if need be. I want you to think about the friends where you don't get to see them very often and yet every time you are back together, it's like nothing has changed. It's sweet. It's nostalgic. It's a love that I hope everyone gets to experience. 10 ways to build lasting friendships that won't drain your social battery. Try it. I promise, you'll find the good ones. I have to say, the friends that I have in my life right now are what hold me together most days. I hope you find them too.
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